Thirty-five

I turned thirty five today. I honestly think I would forget my birthday, if everyone else would too! It’s never seemed like a “thing” — my birthday, that is. I don’t feel any different on my birthday, and I don’t look forward to it like I did when I was a kid. Its kind of just another day.
I joked today that I was about half done with life, and wondered: “Will life be any easier in the second half?” The answers I got from family were mixed some said “Yep, life gets easier”. While others reminisced that life was more “alive” in the first half.  I also have been thinking about all the little things that I have learned in the first half of life…

So without any further ado, here is the list, in no particular order of the 35 things I’ve learned in the 35 years of life.

35. The Boxcar Children sounds best when read from a Kindergarten teachers mouth.  Specifically, Leah Pancake, she was my 5 year old idol. (still kind of is)

34.  You cannot run away from home when you live down a lane that is a mile long, ITS JUST TOO LONG, you will get tired, and you will decide that you need moms pumpkin cookies and iced tea and then, you will forget what you were running away from.  (Then your mom will make you clean up the mess of the backpack you made to run away with, and lets just face it that’s a huge mess)

33.  Even when you are little, you learn things in Sunday School.  Sometimes (more than I should) I phone it in when I am in charge of teaching Sunday School class.  Today as I thought about the things in my “first half” I remember Ruthie Newheart and Joan Ormiston teaching my Sunday School class in the “Rainbow Room” of Bell Ridge.  I remember painting rocks and flower pots, but most of all I remember the love that those ladies lavished on all of us onery kids.  and believe me we were a handful.  Time to step up my game as a teacher.

32. I’ve learned to watch the things I say.  Even if they are the truth.  Truth often hurts, and if it’s going to hurt SOMETIMES it’s not worth saying.  And the truth sometimes really burns in my chest and I want so badly to blurt it out for everyone to hear,  but I have to ask myself if it’s helpful.  Is is hurtful?  Hmm… I struggle with this still. But have learned to watch what I say.  Also, just because it’s true doesn’t’ mean I should repeat it.  That was a hard one too.

31.  I’ve learned that some people are just not nice.  Which is totally weird to me, because even if you don’t like me you can still be nice.  COME ON!  Which brings me to number

30.  Some people don’t like me.  WHAT?!?  I know!! RIGHT!!?  This took me so long to figure out and it still dumbfounds me on some days.  But there are some people that just don’t like me, and I’m trying to  — let it go — but come on!  I try to make you like me, I smile, and I talk about the things you like to talk about, and I act attentive.  But no cigar baby, they just don’t dig the Sarah.  SO I just — let it go — (really trying, but whoa, this is a hard one)

29. (Ahh… 29.  wasn’t that a good age?)  Never put your hand on the underside of the table at restaurants.  The gunk is gross.  EWWW.  And teach your children this at an early age.

28.  This tidbit comes directly from my father.  “All men are jerks”  Unfortunately, daddy was right on this one too.  Even the most wonderful, fabulous, outrageously perfect of men become jerks at one point or another.  We all have bad days, even Mr. Perfect.  (I do believe I married Mr. Perfect by the way.  He’s off the market, don’t bother looking anymore, I got him) However he can be borrowed on his “jerk days” because, just like daddy said, all men can be them.

27.  Don’t be upset when you are mistaken for your sister.  I get this a lot, which is cool, cuz my sister is HOT!  When we were little this happened all the time, its better now that we are living in different cities.  But still when I’m in a crowded room and someone yells “Amanda” I look.  And they are all like “what are you looking at?”  and I’m like “I thought you were talking to me, but that’s not even my name so that doesn’t even make sense so, um yea, well, never-mind. sorry”

26.  Some of the most important decisions on your life will be instantaneous, while others will be agonizing.  For example, marrying Mr. Perfect, I decided that when I was 18 and never looked back.  This inline water heater that we researched for weeks and talked about until I was just about insane with information, I hate it.  Somethings you just know.  The hair from the 80’s – now there’s a decision we should have all re-thought.

25.  God doesn’t make mistakes.  For example, how many of our kids do you think we planned out on a calendar to have?  Out of four, 1.  Yep Just 1.  Were the other ones mistakes?  No way, they weren’t accidents either.  Although there were lots of family members that thought it was funny to say so.  Even I believed it for a while, but lately I have quit saying that little nasty word “accidents”  None of my children were accidents.  God put each of them here for a purpose.  And they are going to change this world.  Let me tell you, each of my kids are awesome.  No mistakes there.

24.  I’ve learned to fight fair.  And most of the time I do.  It helps that Mr. Perfect is well, perfect.

23.  Sometimes life isn’t fair.  Not for your kids playing football, not for Mr. Perfect and his job, and not for me, and the sleep situation at my house.  All three, at some point in life, have been unfair.  There’s nothing we could do about it then, and still isn’t now.  Some times life just. isn’t. fair.

22.  Always use a wall anchor when you hang something on the wall.  Or hit a stud.  It will save you many fights with your hubby.  And use a stud finder and level, it will save  you lots of puttying up the holes.

21.  For the boys:  Sit down at a sit down toilet, stand at a stand toilet.  The bathroom will smell better, I guarantee it.

20.  I hate socks.  I bet that there is a part of hell that is set up just for moms to mate socks all day.  That is how much I abhor mating socks.  Winter is coming.  Sock season. Ugh. Sock season.  And there’s not easy way to mate socks, right?  Like there’s baskets, and pins. But who wants to pin every set of socks for 6  people in a family and then have to unpin them when they come out?  Its insanity I tell  you!!!!

19.  College is fun.  For most people.  I wasn’t one of those people, I didn’t love it.  Choose what you love then choose a degree that will compliment that.  Also, think about how you will pay for it.  If someone would have set me down at the beginning of my college career and said “Here’s what it will cost for you to have a four year degree  — $x.00 — that will buy you an education or your future home.”  I might have rethought my path through education.  (like WAY less loans) … Go to a local school for 2 years then transfer to that big name university for your final years.  SAVE your $$

18.  Speaking of money – someone in your adult life HAS to be good at money.  If you don’t have another one in your adult life with you, this person HAS to be you! If you suck at money get your mom to help!   In my adult life, it’s Mr. Perfect.  (yes, him again.) He’s the “money do-er”.  I’ve learned that we have to have one person that “knows it all”, and the other one needs to shut up and listen (that would be me).  Money is a necessary evil of life.  If you don’t have it, you need it, and need to be good at it. Get help until you are.

17.  When you are pregnant, it’s ok to eat three twinkies and a roast beef sauerkraut sandwich and BBQ chips dipped in a jar of creamy ranch  while you lie in bed at night.  HOWEVER, When your youngest is turning 5 next month it’s time to re evaluate the eating habits.  Eat better food.  Eat more spinach.  Yep, spinach.  It’s good for you, and you will feel better if you do.

16.   Trampolines are great fun, if you haven’t jumped on one this year, go find one and try it out.  I love the jumping, but my 35 year old body is telling on me, I can’t do the front flips I used to and I immediately have to pee after about three jumps.  Seriously, go jump. You might ask before you randomly jump on someones trampoline.  and wear a good support bra.  Or don’t, it might be more entertaining that way. 😉

15.  Don’t hold grudges.  The person you are angry with has already forgotten about what they said that hurt you.  Stop ruining your present joy.  Move on.

14.  You cannot fold fitted sheets.  Just stop trying.

13.  Be careful about the things that you say in front of the kids.  They are little sponges.  “I’m gonna beat your butt” comes to mind.

12.  PUT DOWN YOUR PHONE!!

11.  “I’m fine” doesn’t ever mean “I’m fine”  It means a whole plethora of things that mean “I’m NOT fine”  If someone says “I’m fine” to you, you can bet you bottom that they need a friend to talk to about what ever isn’t “fine” at the moment.  Pray, and ask again.

10.  Having a baby changes EVERYTHING!  It’s like watching your heart run around outside your body.  There’s just not words to describe that feeling of fear and love, anxiety and joy, all bound up together in a little kid that calls  you mom.  Its brutal.  And we do it again and again.  What are we thinking?

9.  I want to adopt.  It’s a prayerful consideration at this time… maybe in my 2nd half.

8.  In-laws aren’t from the devil.  I never really thought they were, I just knew what they were “supposed” to be, stereo-typically.  Mine are nothing but great.  So I don’t know what everyone is complaining about, you big babies, in-laws are awesome.  Like another set of smart people to tell me what their wisdom is.  Really. I love them.

7.  Not wearing underwear is ok, a little risky, but ok.  I discovered this little piece of information when I somehow “ran out” of underwear.  They got worn and I threw them out and went to buy more.  HELLO!  UNDERWEAR IS EXPENSIVE!!  So I said no way to that, and started going without, you know, just till I could get a few pair.  But in the mean time, I decided that “commando” isn’t too bad.  So I still don’t have any new ones.  Realize I wear yoga pants 6 out of 7 days a week.  The last time I was at moms, I was sharing the new knowledge that underwear was “so last year” and she (Mrs. Johnny on the spot) pulls out a new package of underwear from her bedside drawer.  Well, lookie there, guess I CAN start wearing them again!

6.  I’ve learned that your kids will do exactly what you EXPECT them to. If you expect them to NOT clean their room, they probably never will. And if you expect them to do their chores everyday, they will. If you expect them to fail English, they will.  If you expect them to give up that pacifier, they will. Set the expectations early, and be consistent.  Kids will rise (or not) to the expectations you  have (or don’t have).

5.  Try not to give too much advise, it tends to backfire.

4.  A mom can never have enough spare batteries, ink pens or super glue.  Keep a well stocked purse.

3.  Listen to GOOD MUSIC. Then your kids will too.

2.  I’ve learned to pray more and write it down.  I have a terrible memory.  But if I write it down I can say “Oh yea, I did pray for that!”

1. I am blessed.  I have learned to trust God’s plan.  I’m not sure what that is, but I know that I’m doing my best to walk in the light and I’m dragging my kids along with me on this God led imperfect yet beautiful journey through the world.  Trust. I’ve learned faith and trust.