Thought’s About Passion – And putting on makeup.

My husband gave me a hickey last night, that’s right, a hickey   As I stood in front of the mirror this morning, I noticed right there, in the line of my collar, a bruise, the size of a pencil eraser.  I immediately blushed. If I could use only one word to describe the relationship Matthew and I have, it would be “passionate” .   I guess all marriages have some degree of passion. Matthew and I have been married 10 years and I still can’t stand by him with out touching him, I cant be in the same room without eye contact.  When you read a love story that talks about the air “crackling” when two people are near each other.  That’s us.  “Passionate.”

As I begin my morning ritual of washing and primping, I start following this train of thought:

What is passion?  Passion is described as a “strong devotion to an object”, and as being “intensely dedicated to an activity.”  I believe passion is the driving force that squeezes at your heart and makes your brain work more efficiently, therefore allowing  you to complete what you desire.   There is a reason that passion is often described as “burning.”  At least for me, the way I feel passion is this driving force that lights my brain on fire, and passion is the fuel that keeps me working to an end.  It’s a drive, internally, to accomplish something you love.

You see, I know what passion feels like.  I have experienced it.  So this led me to ask the next question…

What am I passionate about? Ugh!  This one has stumped me for a while.  I am passionate about my children.  But that seems very cliche’ because isn’t EVERYONE? And I love my children with that same driving force and heart wrenching feeling that I think all (good) mothers have.  But what is it that I am truly passionate about?  I love my job, but I don’t have that passion feeling for it.  I don’t lay awake and night trying to think up ways to get a better job.  I have some passion for creating things, and writing on occasion.  But it’s spotty at best.   Hmm..

As I continue putting my makeup on, and try to cover up this hickey, my mind wonders to a related question.

Do I know anyone who has a great passion?  Well, this question was easy to answer. I know that my father in law has a passion for flying.  He is building a plane, with no place to put it, in a garage that is too small.  But he loves it and there is a driving force pushing him to finish it, a burning desire to see the plane completed.  I know that my brother has a passion to be successful in his business.  His desire is such that he quit a well paying job to pursue a dream of employment independence.  I know a couple of friends that are passionate about adopting a child.  They raise money and talk to everyone they know, they have a burning in their hearts to hold a baby of their own.  But by far, the most passionate man I know has to be Jesus Christ.  His passion was simple, yet totally consuming, “To seek and save the lost”  That seems like a simple enough passion.  Jesus’ single most important passion, the burning that he felt, the drive for accomplishment, the most intense desire of His heart was to seek out those who were lost and to save them.

After I answered the question of who has passion, deciding what my passion should be became glaringly clear.   My passion should line up with that of Christ’s passion.  After all, he did come here and DIE for me.  Yet so many times we go chasing things we think we are passionate for.

At this point I have quit trying to cover up the hickey.  Haha!  I feel like I’m 18 again… and my train of thought chugs on….

So– How do you foster a passion for something?  Well I guess some people would say you don’t.  Passion isn’t something that you grow, it’s something that is inherently there.  But something must jump start it.  For me and Matthew it was 11th grade physics.  We had a teacher that let us do too much flirting and not enough physics.  And there was a time I was passionate about Christ.  When I was younger, I had a drive to “go” and “do” I guess that passion wanes with the business of life.  I do know that God can help me rekindle the passion I felt then.  And I do want to feel that heart squeezing drive again.

As I flick off the light in the bathroom, I stand for a second and say a quick prayer.  “Dear Lord, help me today, to find the passion that was there.  Give me a tiny measure of the passion that Jesus had when he was here.  And I will try really hard to put that passion into ACTION in my life.  “Seek and Save.” Give me the passion to seek and save… Amen.”