Confessions of a Frustrated Mommy

This morning I woke up on the WRONG side of the bed. I hadn’t gone to bed in the best mood. Matthew and I had had words over “something” (I didn’t really remember what by the end of the evening). I fell into a restless sleep around 1 am. The dog woke me up at 3 am, then Ezra at 4. Zoe decided that 5 am seemed long enough to stay in bed and tried to wake the dead. At that point I gave up and got up.

Soon it was time for the kids to get ready for school. Xander loves to torment the little ones. Raylee is SO forgetful. Ezra is not a morning person (like his daddy) and whines A LOT. And Zoe is chipper. Too chipper. Annoyingly chipper. Most mornings, like a good mommy, I take all of this in stride. I have fun with Zoe, I try very hard to leave Ezra alone, I try to remember all of Raylee’s things and I cautiously give advice to Xander so he will have a less troublesome day.
Today was not most mornings. I griped at Matthew for being too loud in the kitchen this morning. I lost my patience with Ezra’s whining, and actually sent him back to bed. I was frustrated with Raylee because she needed pennies for school but forgot to get them the night before.  This left her sorting pennies from a jar while I tried to comb her hair. Xander and I had a “nice” fight, in which he once again told me that he hated being the oldest. I informed him in the loudest voice I could muster “That’s OK, I don’t want to be the mom today either!” And Zoe babbles happily on in her high chair. Enjoying the three ring circus that is our morning.

I got so flustered.

Here’s what brought me back down. While I combed Raylee’s hair I was seething. We were running late and she should have already had this done. When I comb her hair she screams “Stop mommy, that hurts!”, and I just knew it didn’t.  But just as I was about to whack her noggin with the hair brush, my own mother’s words rang in my ears. “I’m not hurting you, I swear I’m going to chop it all off!”  Then my mom would conk me on the top of my head with the hair brush. My mother would get so frustrated with me and my hair.

<BIG SIGH>

I turned Raylee around in my arms and I told her “I love combing your hair, it reminds me of when my mommy combed my hair”  She gave me a weird smile and I laughed.

I needed a laugh this morning. I needed a reminder that all mommies get frustrated, and the kids they are frustrated with usually grow up to be frustrated parents too!

After the kids got to the bus stop, I sat, feeling guilty about my morning and wishing I could have done better. (That’s a feeling that comes around often as a mommy, and you never quite get used to it). I made my coffee, sat down and opened my laptop to write this confession. And right in front of me is a scripture hanging on the fridge, “And we know that in ALL THINGS God works for the good of those who love Him. Romans 8:28.” Raylee brought it home from church last week and hung it up to memorize. It helps me to realize that God has all things planned out, in His time. He knows that the time to be frustrated with your kids will eventually pass. Raylee will grow up and probably have a daughter that she wants to thunk over the head with a hairbrush. But if you are in love with God, He knows your paths, and He is working for your good. And I know that if God thinks it is good, it will probably be “REAL GOOD” for me.

I just need to take a deep breath, read that scripture again, and have another cup of coffee. Yes, definitely another cup of coffee. 🙂

This is my mom(Suzette Stone) and her mother(Evelyn Martin), holding my daughter(Raylee Davidson).  I was taking the picture.

I wonder if grandma Martin used the hairbrush on my moms head?